We sit in judgement of others so very often, many times when we don't even realize we do...
- "She's just not trying, you know. She'd be beautiful if she just lost some weight."
- "He's just too lazy. He has such potential."
- "There's just no way I could do what he did, but I guess he had his reasons."
It goes on and on. You know you do it. I do it. We all do it. We sit ourselves in the seat of judge, jury, and executioner at times...and it stinks!
I have dear friends who are gay. I have dear friends who are progressive liberals. I have dear friends who are fundamental Baptists. I have friends who are Muslim. I have friends who are Pagans. "Yeah, yeah, we know, Tammy, you always say that." Yes, I do, but every time I see and experience this phenomena of judgement, it bears repeating. Why? Because it shows we can be friends with; we can love; we can be close to ANYONE despite our differences. "HOW? How could we possibly do that, Tammy?" Easy, you QUIT judging others and merely accept them as they are. You quit posturing. You quit making uninformed decisions/judgments. You quit "knowing it all." Because, quite frankly, you don't. None of us do. We cannot judge where someone has walked for one very logical, very important reason - WE. ARE. NOT. THEM.
I came back to NC last summer, hoping to find employment and stay here with my family. I didn't find it. So I went back to Florida for the fall semester and taught there. I was finally offered a job back here in NC, so we came back, again...but in January, because I wasn't certified in Theater (irony, I know), I couldn't keep that job...so I began looking again...and I have looked, and looked, and looked...and still nothing. Many have made the insinuation that I haven't tried hard enough...that I haven't 'really' looked...that I have wanted to go back to Florida this whole time, and therefore didn't really try here...
Sigh...While I know the people that "need" to read this, probably never will, it does me good to just get it out...so here goes - this is a PARTIAL list of the companies and entities with whom I've applied in the past year (mostly the past five months) - please note that the school systems usually received 1-3 applications for various positions, not just one.
McDowell County SchoolsBuncombe County Schools
Asheville City Schools
Haywood County Schools
Henderson County Schools
Guilford County Schools
Gaston County Schools
Wake County Schools
Mitchell County Schools
Yancey County Schools
AB Technical College
McDowell Technical College
Western Piedmont Community College
Polk County Schools
Rutherford County Schools
Columbus County Schools
Catawba County Schools
Cleveland County Schools
Burke County Schools
McDowell Early College
Sunrise Nursing Home
Magnolia Nursing Home
Blue Ridge Hospital System/Nursing Homes
Missions Hospitals/McDowell Hospital and Doctor's offices
Schools in SC
Schools in East TN
(Education, Nursing, Retail, Secretarial, Administrative, Waitressing, and, and, and....
the list goes on and on...and? And? And..........
NOTHING...I had three interviews and got none of those jobs...
"Wow," you say, "Your work record and evaluations and references must really suck!"
Let's see...I have an LPN diploma, a BA in English from Montreat College, a MA in English from Mercy College, and a M.Ed. in Educational Leadership from Concordia University. I have a NC LPN license, a NC Teaching license in English 6-12, Elementary, and PreK, a Florida Teaching license in English 9-12 and Elementary PreK-3rd. I have excellent references. I have the highest teacher evaluations one can have in Florida (Highly Effective) - only about 10% of teachers ever achieve this...and until this INSANE year, I have had an excellent work record...so, I don't quite think it's my fault I'm not finding a job...
But, I know, others are going to think what they want...most of the time, I've gotten to the point where I can move past it and not worry about it...but when it REALLY hurts, when it REALLY gets to me, it's because people VERY close to me (family and some friends) truly believe that I am just not trying...that I just want to "get back to Florida" by any means necessary...
Do you know the emotional turmoil I've been through this past year? Do you know the toll it's taken on me and my family? Do you realize all we've lost trying to make this work? Do you? No, you don't, because you have not walked in my shoes..and because you only see what you WANT to see in the midst of it all...
Sad...Very sad when people who are "Christians" think SO incredibly poorly of someone...even though the Bible clearly instructs "Love Thinks No Evil (of others)."
To those who have loved me anyway - Thank-you! To those who haven't judged me - Thank-you! To those who have been "real friends" and have offered help and support and even jobs during this time - Thank-you! (those job offers from friends were all back in Florida, just FYI; NO ONE in NC has offered even a temporary position for me during this time.) To my true friends, thank-you.
To the rest of you - Stop it. Stop judging other people. Stop thinking you know so much about others when you don't. Stop sitting in your ivory tower and on your high horse. Stop 'thinking evil' of others because you "just KNOW so and so and blah, blah, blah..." In truth, You probably don't really know anything at all about the situation. And just as a note, for those of you who "only share out of concern or to share prayer requests..." If you were really concerned about whatever or whomever it is, you'd quit judging and just try to help them.